The Seeds of Hope

The clouds cover the sun. 

The lightning flashes and the thunder booms.
I feel the winds stir my hair and my anger. I fight for control; Hoping to save the world from the rage... I fail and the seas come up and the lava burns. 
And I feel no remorse. 
Only satisfaction.

The storm passes. The winds die. The sea settles into a calm. She stands on the cliff staring at the fading sun, watching the storm move away...
and she thinks "the storm will always pass"  and she is hopeful again.

Dawn breaks and the destruction from the storm is visible. 

But under all the rubble a seed sprouts and hope for a new life is born.

Have you ever thought about how your life has evolved? Through the years, every one can look back on their life and think about what they wish they had done differently. It's been said that we shouldn't live our lives with regrets, but isn't that easier said than done? I think so. No, that's wrong. I know so.

So the question is this: What do you regret in life?

I regret cheating on my first real boyfriend. He is my first love because that never changes. First love never stops being your FIRST. I would have given up myself and everything that made me who I was: independent and free. But the trick of it was this: he would never have let me do that. He loved me and I loved him. Just not enough.

I regret giving up a life that I wanted. I wanted that with all my heart but I knew that in the end it wouldn't have been fair to that life. So perhaps I made a selfish decision and chose the easier path for me, but in the end I may have chosen the harder path for my conscience and my heart.

I regret breaking the heart of someone I care about deeply, simply for the fact that I do not have the ability to love them the way that they deserve. Perhaps in another life we might have been more, and in most ways perhaps we are. But in the end perhaps once again I am choosing the easier way out for me, because at the end of the day I do love this person and it would kill me in ways unimaginable if I broke this persons heart, as I know that I would. My heart will never be able to belong to them in the way that they deserve. They deserve better than a shattered person, damaged and broken. Hurt and destroyed. My best friend, my soul mate in ways unromantic, my ying to my yang.

I regret not repairing my relationship with one man in my life before his light went out unexpectedly. Good things happened from his passing but I realize that there were so may things that I didn't know about him. So many events that I missed out on, in my selfish need to "find myself", to become "my own person".

But every Storm ends. And hope sprouts. My seed of Hope is sprouting. I can only hope that it will grow as it should, and not wither and die like all the other hopes.