Regrets

He doesn't change. He will never change. I must get used to that idea.

He always says he "is tired". Tired? Too tired to touch your own wife?? "I work 12 hours a day, 60 hours a week". I told him: "yes, by your choice". His response: "No not by my choice. I have to support my family". WHAT FAMILY??? There is no "family"!! We have no children. We will not have children. You are too selfish to put anyone before yourself. You say it's the hallmark of an addict. I don't believe you. I think you are just a selfish, self-centered bastard that can only think of himself.  You act like a child everyday, you whine like a child everyday. You act like a child everyday. You ask me: "what will you do if your child does that?" I answer honestly: "My child won't. They will learn early on that whining is not allowed." I will give them something to cry about.

I want to slap the crap out of you.  You annoy the shit out of me. Why did I marry you? I settled. Why did I settle? Because I was tired of the games. The waiting, the looking, the dating. But now I am married to a man who is the opposite of what kind of man I want.

I am unhappy. But what do I do now?